


I feel it too

by Roheline



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-04 07:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12765795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roheline/pseuds/Roheline
Summary: Just a series of short one-shots, more or less connected.





	1. I'll show you the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Snoke tortures Rey something snaps inside Kylo. He saves the girl and defects, splitting the First Order.

He doesn't say a word. Not before, nor after he rescues her. His hands move purposely, activating a series of controls and, as soon as the jump takes them away from immediate danger, he sets the ship on autopilot and turns to the girl.

Her whole body is shaking, curled up in the shuttle's seat. She looks smaller, smaller than ever - breakable. The strength she possess fascinates him, but this vulnerability... it makes him want to reach out.

Still without speaking, Ren retrieves a blanket and moves to wrap it around her shoulders. She flinches, shrinking further into the seat, and throws him a fierce glance. Like a wounded animal, she's hesitating, uncertain whether to surrender or attack.

"You think I would hurt you." His voice is even, but it brims with frustration. It bothers him. It bothers him that even now, she's apprehensive. As if the last few hours hadn't happened. As if he hasn't risked his life for her.

 _I won't hurt you.._ He sends the words right through their bond, so she can sense it. So she can know they're true.Tears begin to fill her eyes.

"I can still feel what Snoke did to me," she says at long last. "It's like-" her eyelids squeeze shut, "-it's like he's in my head."

Tears spill and start to roll down her face. They leave wet streaks on her cheeks and he feels the urge to trace them with his thumbs, dab at that moisture and spread it over the flushed skin.

But he doesn't. Instead, he wraps the blanket around her shoulders and crouches in front of the seat.

"Then push him out." His gloved hands settle on the armrests. "It's your mind. Block him out."

"I can't," she sobs, shaking her head. "I don't know how." She's so hurt, so confused. His chest tightens. He knows the torture she's been put through. It took him years to learn how to escape it. But it doesn't have to be like that for her. He can show her the way. Slowly he pulls off the gloves and reaches out.

This time, she doesn't move to resist him. This time she simply stares with a look of vague wonder. As he touches her temple a soft whispering sound envelopes her. As if his body had disintegrated and then surrounded hers in a whirling cloud of particles.

 _Focus._ She can sense his presence flowing into her psyche, guiding, leading the way... _You're stronger than you know. Push. Him. Out._ And somehow ... she does.

She imagines a wave of self, rising higher and higher, obliterating everything in it’s path, leaving nothing behind except _her._

"That's it," he whispers hoarsely. "That's really good." For a long moment she remains still, eyes closed, breath coming unevenly. It took a lot of effort. He knows. He can feel it through the bond that's now more taut than ever.

Slowly his bare palm slides to her nape. "Rest," he murmurs and feels her sigh and give in, like a broken stem against his chest.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When she wakes up, hours later, she's in a medbay. Finn's by her side, smiling and _he_... He's gone.


	2. Force bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The treacherous bond between the Scavenger and the Fallen One strikes again.

She doesn’t see him during the next few months, but she feels him. It’s a most elusive feeling — sudden flashes of anger and simmering ambition, an all consuming bitterness and … loneliness. Such terrible loneliness.

It makes her wonder if he’s aware. If he can feel her too. If he could enter her mind from miles away. The thought should scare her, but it doesn’t.

When she’d stopped resisting, Kylo’s touch had replaced all pain and fear with a kind of absolute certainty. She’d always been a no one, a scrawny girl scavenging the dark wrecks of an ancient battlefield.

But when his fingers closed around her nape, she’d felt different — like something more. Closing her eyes she tries to remember that feeling, that surge of clarity, of power.

That secret call, humming through her bones, awakening something inside, something that rose to answer. In the silence, it all rushes back and she falls asleep craving that connection, longing, reaching.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They share some kind of bond.

He’d suspected it before, but now there is no room for doubt. Since he’s been inside her mind, he can feel her within like a living thing — a beating heart, irremovable and constant.

If left unchecked her emotions bleed inside his head like swirling watercolors. She keeps tugging and tugging at that bond, unknowingly, unaware of what she’s doing like a child fumbling through the dark.

She’s so full of fire and so reckless, stubborn, brave. Yes, a child beneath all her pretenses. A woman too. A soft, lethal creature, warm and shy and terrifying.

She’s completely out of control, ignorant of her capacity. And even though she scorns the dark side, he can’t help but be fascinated, jealous even, of the power she wields so unwittingly.

He’ll see her again. Soon. He’ll see her and it makes him feel something he can’t quite place.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The conference room falls silent as he enters. Poe Dameron positions himself near General Organa while the grey-haired woman looks at him with heartfelt emotion.

The others, however, are hostile. They know who he is and they know what he’s capable of. They do not don’t trust him, nor want him here. That’s alright. It doesn’t matter. Whether or not he’s liked doesn’t make a difference.

She stands behind the General. He can feel her eyes on him, the hope fluttering in her chest. He feels it but doesn’t allow himself to look back.

Keeping his features neutral, Kylo Ren takes his seat among the chosen officers. The discussions begin.


	3. Give in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to fight the bond and keep it closed, but it takes the best of her to do it. After months of resisting she finally gives in.  
> 

When it happens she’s tired and lonely and so drawn to him.

He’s angry of course — so terribly angry. He keeps his face a mask, unreadable, but she can feel the anger smoldering inside, threatening to explode.

„What are you doing here?“ he asks, turning around, meeting her eyes. His voice is cold, his eyes are cold, he cannot stand the sight of her. He wants to crush her, hurt her, hear her beg and regret ever spurning his offer.

„I... “ 

She hesitates and cannot find the words. Seeing him, feeling him, is overwhelming. If only she could hold him, rest her head upon his heart and ease the anger.

“ _What_ do you want?” he rasps again, moving towards her now, crowding her space. He’s so tall, so big, so powerful in stature. Her eyes fall to his chest and she takes a step back. Up close he is not cold at all, his body heat already seeping through her skin. 

„I… “

 _„What?!“_ he hisses, looming above, daring her to speak. She looks up in a silent plea, eyes bright and breathing shallow. So exposed, so vulnerable. Beckoning. His gaze drops to her parted lips.

“What do you want, Rey?”

He whisperers this it time, anguished, reaching for her face. She has ignored him for so long... but the way she leans into his touch... She’s so lonely, touch-starved. She wants this, craves this, she's craved it with all her being.

„Please..“ she asks quietly, eyelids closed, soft lips barely mouthing the words, „Please Ben. Please…”

_Ben._

The name slashes through his heart like a blade. His grip tightens. This Ben she _thinks_ she wants is the reason behind her rejection. This foolish, idolized version of him.

There is no Ben. She’s wrong and he will show her. He’ll show her what truly brings them together, what binds them — the anger, the passion, the hunger. _The power._ His grip turns punishing, tilting her head back, exposing her even more.

“You shouldn’t have come,” he murmurs and she barely has time to register the words before his mouth falls upon hers, sure and powerful, demanding submission.

Her heart is pounding, her body trembling in his arms, resisting him and fighting herself. _He wants her._ She can feel how much he wants her and behind that something else.

Startled, she tries to draw back. “You don’t want to do this.”

 _“This...”_ he growls, pressing her body back against his, “This is all I want to do.“

He catches her lips again, bitting down on the lower one, sinking his teeth into the tender flesh until it bruises, until a coppery taste fills their mouths. He’s a wild fire and she will burn with him if he continues to touch her.

She needs to go away. She needs to go. _Now._


	4. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying to gather support for the Resistance, Rey is discovered by First Order sympathizers. She tries to Force her way out and fights them, but she’s alone, outnumbered so she ends up captured.

The door slams shut before she can reach it.

“No!” she shouts, voice rising in anger.“No...“ _This can’t be happening._ But it is true. It is happening. She’s captured.

Angered, she slams her fists against the door and screams. She bangs, again and again. Pointless. She’s trapped, caged like an animal and running out of time. 

He will come for her. Personally. What will she do then? What will she say, and most importantly, what will _he_ do? Have her killed? Imprisoned? Leave her locked within four walls for weeks, months … Years?!

The tally marks from Jakku flash in her mind. It’s just a sudden image and it’s quickly gone, but it’s enough to bring her on the edge of despair. _No._ She has to get out. 

Her fists hit the door again and she keeps at it, until there’s no more strength. Until she’s too exhausted to use the force and cold, so bloody cold, her clothes soaked by the rain as she fought to escape.

Seeking some warmth she lays down on the rug before the fire. She won’t cry. She won’t stop if she does. She stares at the fire instead, watches the constant flicker of flames, and her eyes begin to close.

******

When he enters the room, his heart skips a beat. She’s not there. Not pacing, not in the chair nor on the bed, not by the window looking out. His gloved hand curls into a fist, announcing a burst of anger, but then his eyes fall to the rug before the fire and …

There she is.

He pauses, staring. The fur rug is white, her hair a soft contrast against it, sweeping off small round shoulders, falling in tendrils over the fur itself. Time seems to stand still, with only the crackling sound of the fire to surround them. The warmth of the room beckons. And her…

He closes the door carefully and walks to the fire to stand over her. Anguish rips through his body viciously. Coming here, he’d never imagined this kriffing turmoil. The passion and anger that she could evoke, _the tenderness._

He should have her killed for her betrayal - or better yet, close his own fingers around that slender neck and squeeze until… He swallows hard and hunches down, fighting the tightness within, the pain of muscles straining, the pounding of his heart.

She looks so soft, mellowed by the warmth. If she’d tried to deliberately tempt him, she could not have awakened a fiercer hunger and thirst than she did just by lying here, simply sleeping.

His eyes move over her face. Long dark lashes, delicately-flushed cheeks, sweet looking lips slightly parted… 

Absentmindedly, he reaches out to smooth a strand of hair from her face and those long lashes rise. She stares at him with vibrant hazel eyes, aware, awake, and for a moment they are suspended in time. Then -

She pounces.

She brings him down violently and they roll across the floor, fighting. He’s bigger and strong, but she’s quick. Every time he tries to hold her still she wriggles free and throws a punch.

He takes it, unfazed, and the fight goes on shifting back and forth, with him gaining the advantage, then her taking it back. She’s a ferocious fighter, bitting and and kicking her way out of his grasp.

Finally, after a few minutes of struggle, Ren catches her wrists and locks them hard against the floor. They’re both panting heavily at this point, enraged and on edge.

“You jerk!” she hisses viciously and pulls against his grip. She’s lashing out, as always, attacking him, forcing him to -

His large hands squeeze her wrists until she sucks in a breath and a faint little “ah” escapes her. The sound leaves her lips and goes straight to his groin. Oh, the sounds he wants to rip from her… 

“I should have you punished!” his breathy voice threatens.

“Then do it!” she bites back, “End this—” 

_“End it?”_ Ren seems unable to believe what he hears. “Sweetheart, we’ve barely just beginning.”


End file.
